Thorn in my side?

9th May 2020

The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer was an absolute game changer for me, I have read it three times since I discovered it a year ago and will return to it again and again. There is something new to learn each time I revisit this amazing piece of work and as I grow and change I can take new meaning from it in relation to where I am at that moment in my life. The whole book is an elixir in my opinion but there is one chapter that stands out for me – chapter 9 ‘Remove your inner thorn.’

Singer describes a scenario where we discover a thorn stuck in one of our arms which touches a nerve, now if we touch the thorn or if anyone else touches the thorn, we experience tremendous pain. So, we have two options, the first one involves continuing our lives with the thorn in our arm. This will be extremely difficult because it will mean avoiding all the things that may touch the thorn and trigger the pain. We may avoid places and people who might touch the thorn too because of how painful it is. We may even take this further and decide to build some kind of protection around the thorn in order to stop it being touched. Creating layers of armour that seemingly hide the thorn away from view in order to prevent it from causing us pain. We must also make sure we attempt to control everything around us – the people in our lives for example – so they know not to touch the thorn. We will not live our lives as freely because we are scared that the thorn will be touched.

If this is the route we choose, we will continue to carry the heavy layers we have built to protect the thorn from causing us pain, for the rest of our lives. This is a heavy burden to bear. Of course, the thorn is still there, ready to touch that nerve at any moment, so it might seem like it is buried deep beneath layers of protection, but we know it’s still there and able to be triggered in a heartbeat.

So how do we know what our thorns are? Well Singer suggests that we have a look at the times when we are triggered to begin to get a sense of what our deeper issues may be. For example, how many of us get frustrated and angry when somebody important in our lives doesn’t conform to our expectations? Do you find yourself trying to control situations to no avail? Now whilst it may infuriate you that your partner doesn’t pick up/clear away/shut the_________ (you fill in the blank for yourself!) that is not the real issue. Something in that external event is pushing on a thorn.

‘So, what is the second option?’ I hear you cry? That first one doesn’t sound like fun at all! Take the thorn out! Yes, take it out. Well, if it was so simple, we would all be doing it wouldn’t we? The difficulty is we are used to layering and covering our vulnerabilities and struggles (thorns) to try and protect ourselves from the pain and before we know it, the bloody thorn is just too deep. It’s too difficult to figure out what it is and where it is.

So, we must be brave now, we must take some time to notice when we are triggered and start to be curious about what is going on for us. You’ll know if it is a thorn because, as Singer explains, you will feel a disturbance inside of you, it will trigger some old feelings and a conditioned response which is our system kicking in to fruitlessly protect the thorn from touching the nerve. By figuring out what the disturbance is and where the thorn is, you can work on taking it out. Once it is gone, you don’t have to deal with it anymore. Of course, some thorns are bigger, trickier and deeper in our bodies, but they can all be worked on.

How can we take the thorns out?

I discovered EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Matrix Reimprinting earlier this year and qualified as a practitioner in both. I have been using these modalities myself and with clients with great results. Over the years I have tried many therapeutic techniques: counselling, CBT, Gestalt Therapy, and an awful lot of self help reading to over come my anxieties. Whilst I have had some success in everything I have tried, nothing has worked quite like EFT and Matrix. The EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) helps reduce the stress response in the body and using both the tapping and Matrix reimprinting I have been able to successfully work with memories of events in my life where my unhelpful and negative core beliefs began. These negative core beliefs (thorns) rule our lives, keep us trapped in our heads and constantly repeating the same mistakes and self-sabotage, over and over. I am seeing the same amazing results in the clients I am working with. Freedom is a possibility!

I am going to say more about EFT and Matrix reimprinting and how they work in the very near future. If you think you are ready to remove the thorn then get in touch to talk to me about how I can help hold that space for you and support you on your journey to stillness and peace of mind. Send me a message via the contact page or message me via Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/learningtobestill/

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