Time for introductions…

4th June 2020

I have been writing for a little while now and I thought it was time to let you know why I am here, in this space, writing about these things that I care so much about.

So some more about me: I have been coaching people to achieve their goals for nearly 9 years now and it is work that I truly love and I feel is my purpose in life. However, my much younger self would not recognise the woman that writes these blogposts. I have been on a journey of transformation and the beauty of it is that its only just beginning. My 20-30-year-old self would probably spit out her glass of red wine, stub out her Marlboro light and laugh at the image of me as I am now in disbelief. She would not believe that the 41-year-old version of herself doesn’t drink anymore and hasn’t smoked for many years. She probably wouldn’t believe that the older version of herself meditates regularly, believes in herself and is stepping into her power and writing about things that she deeply cares about, transforming her life and helping others do the same.

It has been a rocky road, but life is. The twists and turns that we don’t see coming, the unexpected events that seem to completely derail us in our flow – the current situation is a prime example of this. We can feel like everything is going well and then bam, the unexpected arrives and we are treading in deep water. What happens when we hit the bump in the road? We dive straight into our subconscious and we run our very well-versed programmes that have been with us since childhood. Do you find that when you are in a stressful situation that you respond in a similar way? Numbing out on alcohol, food, social media, TV? Then, you beat yourself up – ‘why can’t I be better? Why am I so weak? Why don’t I stand up for myself?’ The unbearable cycle of self-sabotage begins again until you feel like you have had enough, and you take a step towards freedom. We carry so much of our past traumas like shackles around our necks that can show up as aches and pains, headaches, tension and stress and we can’t see the way out.

We spend a great deal of time looking at changing and fixing the external circumstances, new job, new house, new clothes and holidays! All these things can be great and if we are truly present, they can bring us joy, but they don’t enable the deep change we need internally to actually step into our true selves. They cover over the deep need we have to let go of our anxieties, our negative and limiting self-beliefs. We can project onto the external world all of the negative things we feel about ourselves – for example, I used to be a real blamer, it was always everybody else’s fault, if they could just change their behaviour then I would be happier, and I would not have that particular problem anymore. Except of course where one problem may have resolved, another was all too willing to take its place! It has taken me many years to recognise that the changes must come from you, from within.

But how do you make this happen? Well firstly you have to want it and be ready! You’ll know if that’s the case because you will be tired and had enough of feeling that way. You will have noticed that you don’t feel like you used to. Maybe you don’t recognise the person in the mirror looking back at you. You feel stressed more than you feel relaxed, hyper -sensitive and hyper vigilant to what is going on around you.

For me, I got to a stage when the sadness I felt had stopped me from feeling any joy. I held myself so tightly because of the traumatic events I have been through and I was frightened. I didn’t feel that I could relax and enjoy myself because I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My anxiety would often result in a period of depression from the shear exhaustion of my attempts to protect myself from perceived danger and from feeling difficult emotions that I couldn’t handle anymore. I have learned that you cannot selectively block out the dark without blocking out the light.

The biggest lesson I have learned in the last year is that there is no quick fix and the work is never really done… ok that sounds drastic and a little depressing but what I mean is once we actually start to get to the route of our core beliefs, the ones that have held us back for so long, the power is really in our hands! The journey can start in earnest and it becomes exhilarating, we can have curiosity about the power of our minds rather than running away. I know because that is where I am now and it’s great! That is not to say I am immune from negative self-talk or feeling low, but I am able to work with it now with a greater sense of clarity and compassion.

I have finally been able to delve into my sub-conscious and get to route of some of the core beliefs that were holding me back – the not good enoughs and the negative self-talk. I am a work in progress, but I have been able to take myself to depths that have enabled me to get real clarity on the internal work I have done and need to do. I work with my wonderful coaching colleagues on a regular basis to get clear on what I may be holding on to, I feel that working on my own stuff is a vital part of my role as a coach.

So where is all this going…. Why am I here? – I help people who are tired of feeling stressed and unworthy, I hold space for my clients without judgement and help them discover what has been holding them back at a deep level in a safe way. I have begun to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and I want to help more people do the same. I help people step into their true selves and feel better.

My clients tell me that I help them feel more authentic, they can explore their thoughts in a safe space with me without feeling judged. My sessions are tailored to individual needs and we can work online.

What would it mean to you to put down the stuff you have been carrying? What would it mean to you to feel happier in your own skin? How would your life be different?

Contact me to arrange a free 20-minute call to talk through what working with me could look like.

#coaching #lifecoaching #wellness #support #freedom #anxiety #depression #stress #stressedout #eft #matrixreimprinting #positivepsychology #mindfulliving